与时间挥手告别。
阿信的词，每首都如一首诗。一首令人反省的诗。
“如果要告別 如果今夜就要和一切告別
如果你只能打一通電話 你會撥給誰“
突然想起时间的流逝是如此得快。再多两周就开学了。这个假期里，我没有什么所谓的“休息”，只有一天又一天，一个接一个的训练。练得有一次我真的好累，累得我再也无法把自己的百分之百献给独木舟。有时还真地感到有些无奈，都没有什么时间与亲人好友聚一聚，跟不见得有时间让自己静一静。但这每天训练，每天看见我的队友，我的教练的日子我早已习惯了。一想到不到两周我就得结束这只需全心全意训练的日子，回到学生生活，我真的有很多的不舍。若能不会去上学，再辛苦的训练我都甘愿。
“還是要告別 還是放棄海拔以下的世界
你會裝進什麼回憶紀念 在行李裡面“
开学后，边读边训练得我们需要找出自己的平衡点。不到两三个月，就得比赛了。想起刚刚“入门”的我们，真的好像数年前的事。但若要我幻想比赛中赢奖的我们，对现在的我却似个不切实际的梦想。明年，我们将迎接新生，训练独木舟，小考，比赛滑独木舟，训练龙舟，比赛华龙舟，考试，露营，考试，考试，晚宴，考试。很快的，时间会过去。而我将会想念的，到底是训练的日子，还是与我天天训练作伴的队友，训练我们的教练？
“終於要告別 終於沒有更多的明天要追
你有什麼遺憾依然殘缺 還沒有完美“
今天，与我教练聊天时.. 我突然想起：明年，比赛结束后，就不会再天天看见教练，也再也不会有什么话题与他聊天.. 心里总觉得有点怪怪的。毕竟，这一年来，我们创造了不少痛苦回忆。这一年来，我们见面的数次数也数不清。到了明年，到了我们终于得告别的时候，我会带着一万份的不舍，对我的教练与队友微笑告别。虽然这不是永远永远的告别，但我们却是一起对着天天见面，天天训练的岁月告别。
想起这些，心里真的有些怪怪的。真不舍得，两周后学校开学时所告别的生活。真不想要，告诉自己不再需要辛苦训练，不再会天天见到队友，天天见到教练的时候。我不要求时间倒流，只要求时间慢走，让我足以享受这两周，这两三个月的甜美时光。虽然我会想念，我会不舍.. 但时间一到，我仍然会挥手告别。
I don’t know what to say about today. I can’t exactly say I screwed up my timed trial today; but that was definitely nowhere near my best timing. How did I “deprove” by 40s after a few months of hardcore training?! It was a great slap to my face. I guess I work in a very funny way huh. Occasional compliments may reassure me, but that’s nothing. I need wake up calls, hard slaps to the face. I need harsh words and mentally killing myself before I move further, higher. I am harsh on myself, I admit. But sometimes.. I’ll forget, I’ll lose sight of my goals, I’ll lose focus.
I really don’t understand why kengwi didn’t scold me today, choosing instead to smile when I told him I wanted to go do another 2k to convince myself. (that is so 梁露 omg >.<) Perhaps he knows I’ll eat myself up over my mistakes, no matter how big or small, but I still need him to scold me when I deserve it?! “You and Doris, one tilt to the left, one tilt to the right. Go and do K2 together lah!” (something he told Tammie before the Sept made me stop my tilt by THAT very training).
It was sentences like “Tell me if you don’t want to be on the team; Don’t waste my time” that motivated me to work harder (in netball). “Your stubbornness isn’t going to bring you anywhere!” is the line that still repeats in my head these days, reminding myself not to make the same mistakes. So don’t tell me not to be so harsh on myself, because it’s something I need. In fact, the next time you see me losing focus or not putting in my 100%, SCREAM AT ME. SHOUT AT ME. Because the scariest thing is when you know you’re making a mistake and no one is correcting you anymore.
