Sunday, October 30
I guess at the end of the day, words are the ones that would never fail us. They are not all powerful, they fail to encapsulate feelings most of the times, but somehow they always managed to be the very thing I fall back on in times of insecurity. I really wonder how wise was it of me, to openly hint on twitter with the words "Have we given them a reason to fear us?". Would it serve as a reminder, not only to myself but also my team, the reasons we're training? Without a clear goal in mind, what can one achieve?
I miss my chickenrice team, I miss the people I can say things to without fear of offense. I miss Si Jia, I miss Ramya, I miss Chew Yen. The three people whom will always relate to my feelings, understand my thoughts.. even if they beg to differ. They've never failed to open up my eyes to different sights, to different thoughts and perspectives.. teaching me to view the same painting in a different light.
The time apart, in different places of the world has not diminished my love for them. Especially with Ramya being in Aussie. The power of the Internet has made my dear girl so near, yet so far. I miss the random phone calls and messages that would never fail to brighten up my day. I remember the extent to which we'll make each other happy, searching far and wide for grumpy bear only to get a good luck bear in return <3 Or the way our thoughts connect us, our love for community work that has bonded us more than anything. It was scary how our message to each other (on 'O' level results day) was so shockingly similar that it brought tears to my eyes. These three girls are truly the best things that have appeared in my life.
Not forgetting Audrey, my best friend since primary school. We've been through a lot.. I've never imagined myself to be the one who sparked a fight between us, her brutal honesty is always something I've admired and loved. She was the first thing on my mind when I was at my grandfather's wake, keeping my sorrows to myself. It was kinda a joke, my cousin and me... our naive conversation when we simply wanted to hold on to the thought that.. hey, it could've been better. what if.. this happened? When I teared at the airport, or sobbed heavily when I got home, silently listening to my cries as she did her math. I've never asked her how she felt, but I guess it must be horrible for her.. To receive a random call from her best friend who barely tears, only to hear her sobbing hopelessly. It is truly my blessing, to have her in my life. "I must have a lucky star; For I have the best friend I can wish for."
I am really lucky, I feel really blessed. I have wonderful people in my life and I really love how my life has turned out so far. There have been setbacks, there have been lessons.. It was not always smooth-sailing, but I know, these are the very things that have shaped me today. "There is no way you can connect the dots looking forward, only when you look backwards." I am glad. I really love the way the dots in my life has connected, I am really blessed that these special girls in my life.. are still here to stay. I love you girls (;
what we are, right now @ 4:25 PM.
