Thursday, June 30
The dreams of a child.
All our stories begin with a Once-Upon-A-Time. Once upon a time, I was a child. Dreams and fantasies filled my head, imagination running wild, life has limitless possibilities.. and Disney fed my childish beliefs.
Alice followed a White Rabbit to Wonderland, Peter Pan never grew up, I imagined what it would be like to be a mermaid while Princesses found their Prince Charming.. and it all ended with “they lived happily ever after”.
There was a period of time I really, truly believed. I believed Cinderella that dreams are just waiting to come true, I believed that we all have adventures awaiting us, that all good people will get their happily-ever-afters..
As i grew up, I quickly realised the flaws in Disney’s movies. If Cinderella’s glass slipper fit perfectly, why did it fall off? How painful would it be, if the Prince climbed on Rapunzel’s hair.. Or better yet, why didn’t the Princes have kingdoms to run, instead of running around forests slaying dragons for a girl you did not know?
Soon after, I was caught up by the drama of school life. Well, minus the drama. Since young, school has simply been lessons, extra lessons, examinations, grades, friendships and moving up the educational ladder, rung by rung. I finally realised that magical things do not happen to you, Peter Pan is not going to come and help you escape from your troubles by bringing you to Neverland, life as a student is plain boring and happiness does not come in the form of a Prince Charming.
Now, looking back.. I can’t help but feel a sense of wonder, of fantasy. I may be naive, but I was dreaming. Afterall, our generation has always been taught to keep one leg rooted in reality, while reaching for the stars in the skies.
I may not have the most exciting stories to tell, neither is my life storybook-worthy. I may not be the best person in the world, I may not have love that sweeps me off my feet.. But there are still times in life, I feel greatly blessed. I feel grounded; I have wonderful people in my life, beautiful memories in my heart..; Happiness is what you allow yourself; Dreams are simply reality waiting to happen — as long as you put the effort into it; In my imagination or times of slumber, I can still enter the land of fantasies..
And sometimes, moments in life feel simply.. Magical.
what we are, right now @ 11:38 PM.
Friday, June 17
FOR THREE DAYS...
for three days, my phone's internet explorer has been permanently on 2 websites:
Lightning Alert Risk; gothere.sg
for three days, i've been trying to report to the venue on time :/
for three days, i've been moving around.. supervising, observing.
for three days, i've been hearing the sounds of children around me.
for three days, i've been interacting with the 'kids' from haven,
and the volunteers of ACJC.
i would like to say, it was a really great experience.
i've really really enjoyed the whole process,
even if it meant losing sleep here & there..
being stressed, frustrated, annoyed, and even angered,
simply trying to make it a success.
the volunteers of ACJC are really a awesome bunch of people.
their enthusiasium from the first day affected me, affected the kids.
if i had a chance, i would've interacted with them more.
if i had a chance, i would've wanted them to stay with the kids for all 3 days of the camp.
i have people who volunteered for one day only..
and yet making such a lasting impact
that the kids asked for them for the rest of the camp,
and even demanding that they visit after the camp!
the 'kids' too.. i was fooled by their appearances.
they looked so young, acted so young,
i thought a number of them were in lower primary.
when, in actual fact, only Jane was 7 years old (i guessed correctly!)
and the rest were from 12-18 years old.
hmm...
i think, i've really said whatever i needed, wanted to say..
during my debrief to the facilitators ytd,
during my thank you letter to haven and the various day leaders..
i'm running out of things to say!
but i think i'll still take some time over this week
to write personal thank you letters to each & every one
who has volunteered their time to make a difference in the 'kids' lives.
uncle jones, you were right.
these kids are addictive.
some of us miss them already.
for three days, my phone's internet explorer has been permanently on 2 websites:
Lightning Alert Risk; gothere.sg
for three days, i've been trying to report to the venue on time :/
for three days, i've been moving around.. supervising, observing.
for three days, i've been hearing the sounds of children around me.
for three days, i've been interacting with the 'kids' from haven,
and the volunteers of ACJC.
i would like to say, it was a really great experience.
i've really really enjoyed the whole process,
even if it meant losing sleep here & there..
being stressed, frustrated, annoyed, and even angered,
simply trying to make it a success.
the volunteers of ACJC are really a awesome bunch of people.
their enthusiasium from the first day affected me, affected the kids.
if i had a chance, i would've interacted with them more.
if i had a chance, i would've wanted them to stay with the kids for all 3 days of the camp.
i have people who volunteered for one day only..
and yet making such a lasting impact
that the kids asked for them for the rest of the camp,
and even demanding that they visit after the camp!
the 'kids' too.. i was fooled by their appearances.
they looked so young, acted so young,
i thought a number of them were in lower primary.
when, in actual fact, only Jane was 7 years old (i guessed correctly!)
and the rest were from 12-18 years old.
hmm...
i think, i've really said whatever i needed, wanted to say..
during my debrief to the facilitators ytd,
during my thank you letter to haven and the various day leaders..
i'm running out of things to say!
but i think i'll still take some time over this week
to write personal thank you letters to each & every one
who has volunteered their time to make a difference in the 'kids' lives.
What we can learn from them,
far exceeds what we can give to them.
uncle jones, you were right.
these kids are addictive.
some of us miss them already.
what we are, right now @ 7:10 PM.
Tuesday, June 14
How does it feel,
to know you can always make her smile?
I just had the first day of Haven Camp today.
Initially, when i was walking around.. looking around, the camp seemed to progressing rather smoothly; each group seem to be getting along well amongst themselves & with the facilitators and everyone seemed to be having fun (including the station masters and facilitators). Laughter is heard everywhere, smiles on their faces. Well, until we tried to play "Balloon Stomp" and failed due to already-present unhappiness in the various groups. So imagine my surprise, when I was debriefing the facilitators and they all agreed.. that their group members were actually bored and uninterested in the games.
Sarah Heah's comment made me think even further. She reminded me of the objectives we had in mind when we first planned the camp. To help them survive when they come out into the society in the future; to impact them, change their beliefs and value systems; to change their future choice of actions, perspectives... It made me realise, we didn't exactly achieve our objectives at all.
The brief reflection time after every station game, meant to provoke thoughts in the participants, was described as "utterly useless" by the facilitators. Participants memorised their answers; They did not think of how it applies to their lives, they just want to get on to the next station, the next game.
The activities may have progressed smoothly, according to plan.. But what use is that, if we do not achieve our objectives? What use is that, if the participants do not benefit? What use is it, if this was "just another camp"?
I understand it is not easy, but we have to try. I understand that it takes a lot of effort, and even time, for the particpants to open up.. but it is necessary. However, this is a rather sensitive issue: How would you feel, if you finally let someone new into your life, and he/she leaves after the camp ends?
Sigh. I can only hope, tomorrow will be better.
//update: 10.14pm
Thinking back, one of the facilitators mentioned something that got me thinking.
There was this one girl, when I first saw her walking out of Haven on our way to WCP, I thought she reminded me of my cousin. Cheerful, fun-loving, loves attention.. but at the heart, a simple kid. She reminded me so much of her, I just had to smile and tell Sarah about her.
During the debrief, her facilitator mentioned that the very same kid, probably only 7 years old, does not like speaking about herself. I think back of all the kids I've met, I've known.. Besides Joven Lee, all of them loved to share about themselves -- What they like, what they dislike.. interesting experiences, unfortunate experiences.. things they've learn, things they're wondering.. They just like to speak excitedly about the things that interest them.
A 7 year old girl, doesn't like talking about herself. How out-of-ordinary it is, especially with the first impression she left on me. I wonder, what kind of experiences must she have had to make her act this way.. because, from my gut feeling, this isn't her natural personality.
"I think you guys need to learn it more than the kids at Haven -- How to get back on your feet after facing failure." -- Mr Lau
How true, I'm sure.. They've experienced far worse than we have.
what we are, right now @ 9:46 PM.
Wednesday, June 8
LETTER TO MYSELF
Heyyyy girl,
I know you're feeling tired,
I can tell that you're losing motivation.
This is happening not only to your studies,
but also to your trainings.
You are constantly finding it harder and harder
to give your best every day.
& most of the time, it seems so easy, so tempting to simply say..
"I can't do this, I can't continue.."
But always remember what Keng Wi (Coach) said:
"Find a thousand reasons to go on,
not one reason to give up"
it is not easy, but it's necessary.
MIND OVER BODY.
keep that firmly in your mind.
built up your mental strength, girl.
remember what you told Beatrice.
"You can do it, I know it.
Now all you have to do is to believe it too."
The immerse power of "Belief",
isn't that something you always prescribe to? (:
It's in you, the strength to go on.
The journey is long, I can promise it'll be tough.
But it also depends on YOU to see yourself through.
It's back to the same question again,
you can never run away from it.
"How badly, how much do you want it?"
How much effort are you willing to put in,
to achieve your goal?
"There is no tomorrow,
for time waits for no one"
if you really want it, start NOW.
Heyyyy girl,
I know you're feeling tired,
I can tell that you're losing motivation.
This is happening not only to your studies,
but also to your trainings.
You are constantly finding it harder and harder
to give your best every day.
& most of the time, it seems so easy, so tempting to simply say..
"I can't do this, I can't continue.."
But always remember what Keng Wi (Coach) said:
"Find a thousand reasons to go on,
not one reason to give up"
it is not easy, but it's necessary.
MIND OVER BODY.
keep that firmly in your mind.
built up your mental strength, girl.
remember what you told Beatrice.
"You can do it, I know it.
Now all you have to do is to believe it too."
The immerse power of "Belief",
isn't that something you always prescribe to? (:
It's in you, the strength to go on.
The journey is long, I can promise it'll be tough.
But it also depends on YOU to see yourself through.
It's back to the same question again,
you can never run away from it.
"How badly, how much do you want it?"
How much effort are you willing to put in,
to achieve your goal?
"There is no tomorrow,
for time waits for no one"
if you really want it, start NOW.
what we are, right now @ 9:19 PM.
Sunday, June 5
A picture titled "The Ying and Yang of World Hunger".
How painfully true it is..
If not for the title,
I wld not even have seen the starving, bony man in the picture.
Is this not the case in the the world?
If not for cries by activists,
If not for drastic situations that reach the headlines of newspapers,
Would we have seen The Hungry in our world?
Would we have recognised our own personal affluence?
After being shocked awake, this guilt-ridden feeling lingers..
How dare we complain about low quality food, when others have none to eat?
How dare we complain about hunger, when others are starving?
How dare we complain about our circumstances, when millions are worst off than us?
This guilt-ridden feeling lingers..
It lingers in our heart. But for how long?
How long would it be, before we start to forget?
How long would it be, before we start to neglect?
How long would it be, before we go back to our ways..?
Humans, oh how forgetful we are...
How ignorance has pampered us all!
When would it be, before we are not blinded by self-centredness..?
When would it be, before we start to SEE..?
I pray for the day, I would not forget.
I pray for the day, You will remember.
I pray for the day, the world becomes a better place.
what we are, right now @ 8:25 PM.
