Saturday, April 30
i would be really upset if i didnt go for dragonboat trainings.
like simin (my coach) said, "it's the process that matters."
and it was really, truly an enriching process.
never once had i trained so hard,
never once had i ached so much,
never had i practiced such time management.
it's kinda amazing that i completed most of my work
despite having to travel to opposite ends
of singapore the whole weekends.
after the dragonboat nationals yesterday..
i have grown physically, mentally.. and emotionally.
yesterday, i did not paddle.
when my teammates went down for the 20men 500m race,
isabel and i stood and watched from the shore.
when they paddled, our hearts pounded;
when they neared the finishing line, we held our breaths;
when they crossed the line,
clinching the first gold medal of the day, our hearts soared.
due to weather conditions, half the race yesterday was cancelled.
all 250m race sets were all cancelled.
it remains an unknown, if my coach wld've sent us down for the 250m race.
it remains an unknown, if we were up for the challenge.
it remains an unknown...
despite the disappointment, the feeling of inferiority..
my teammates, my seniors tried to make it better by giving us
instead of our coachs the medals.
their rationale? "you guys trained hard, you deserved it"
but i didnt paddle. i didnt fight for it in the waters.
i refused to take it. it was not my medal to win.
everything weighed down on me,
all the stress of managing commontests, homework,
dragonboat trainings, PW, myself, friendships...
all the sacrifices.. all the sweat and efforts..
everything just weighed down on me towards the end of the day.
when my seniors teared, i held it in.
flashing a smile, i continued normal conversation with my team.
but once my coach debriefed, i had to close my eyes to keep them in.
when my captain tried passing me the medals..
i cried.
my capabilites on water, with my teammates,
may be currently unknown.
but training up for the day was truly a great experience.
seeing my seniors cry, hearing what wenya said to me..
im really motivated to work even harder from now on,
next year... next year, we'll win it for them.
we'll get back the glory our seniors truly deserved.
To God be the Glory, the Best is Yet to Be.
Wait for us, we're coming.
like simin (my coach) said, "it's the process that matters."
and it was really, truly an enriching process.
never once had i trained so hard,
never once had i ached so much,
never had i practiced such time management.
it's kinda amazing that i completed most of my work
despite having to travel to opposite ends
of singapore the whole weekends.
after the dragonboat nationals yesterday..
i have grown physically, mentally.. and emotionally.
yesterday, i did not paddle.
when my teammates went down for the 20men 500m race,
isabel and i stood and watched from the shore.
when they paddled, our hearts pounded;
when they neared the finishing line, we held our breaths;
when they crossed the line,
clinching the first gold medal of the day, our hearts soared.
due to weather conditions, half the race yesterday was cancelled.
all 250m race sets were all cancelled.
it remains an unknown, if my coach wld've sent us down for the 250m race.
it remains an unknown, if we were up for the challenge.
it remains an unknown...
despite the disappointment, the feeling of inferiority..
my teammates, my seniors tried to make it better by giving us
instead of our coachs the medals.
their rationale? "you guys trained hard, you deserved it"
but i didnt paddle. i didnt fight for it in the waters.
i refused to take it. it was not my medal to win.
everything weighed down on me,
all the stress of managing commontests, homework,
dragonboat trainings, PW, myself, friendships...
all the sacrifices.. all the sweat and efforts..
everything just weighed down on me towards the end of the day.
when my seniors teared, i held it in.
flashing a smile, i continued normal conversation with my team.
but once my coach debriefed, i had to close my eyes to keep them in.
when my captain tried passing me the medals..
i cried.
my capabilites on water, with my teammates,
may be currently unknown.
but training up for the day was truly a great experience.
seeing my seniors cry, hearing what wenya said to me..
im really motivated to work even harder from now on,
next year... next year, we'll win it for them.
we'll get back the glory our seniors truly deserved.
To God be the Glory, the Best is Yet to Be.
Wait for us, we're coming.
what we are, right now @ 8:32 AM.
